


Heaven Forbid

by Cyan (vehicroids)



Series: Something Like Happiness [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, Lovers to Friends, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2019-10-16 06:03:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17544116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehicroids/pseuds/Cyan
Summary: If you love them, go and tell them - if it's over, let it be over.Sometimes, relationships just didn't work out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _'Cause when time and again you have tried it again_  
>  And you've worn it right down to the bone
> 
>  
> 
> Seriously. Something Like Happiness is a total theme for this fic.
> 
> Much like last time, there's no schedule. I'm mostly doing this for me, because... well I left it neutral, but I knew how it would really end :3c

Hope was never enough.

Seto really did try. Every time he finished one load of paperwork, his assistant came in with more. After every meeting, he had to schedule three more. Dinner was at his desk - if he remembered to eat it. Thankfully, his assistant came in to clear away plates and cups he had left abandoned. He felt like a child, but he truly did not have the memory to remember everything.

Seto would send texts whenever he could to both Mokuba and Katsuya, though most of the time he forgot to reply until hours later. It was always  _ I’ll reply in a minute _ , but the minute never came. Mokuba had given up on texting Seto. He had given up on talking to him entirely.  Seto wouldn’t deny that it hurt, but he had dug his own grave. It was time to lie in it.

Katsuya, at least, replied to his texts. He replied somewhere in between classes, work and homework. A new school year meant harder work, and harder work meant less free time. He came home every day to a mess of an apartment - Manjoume made no effort to clean. Why clean when someone else could do it?

Katsuya didn’t spend a lot of time in the living room anymore. It was too full of memories and literal trash that his slovenly roommate left lying around. His free time was spent holed up in his room, with a near library of books surrounding him. Some of these were likely late returns. Katsuya would have to check when he got a moment.

It had been four months since Gozaburo’s death, but Katsuya could count on one hand the amount of times he had seen Seto. He lived over and hour away by train - excluding transport time to and from the station. There went almost three hours that neither of them had. Katsuya had homework and Seto had regular work, so their meetings devolved into quiet study time in Seto’s office. It wasn’t long before Katsuya had to go, and he always left feeling like it wasn’t enough, like they hadn’t done enough.

In truth, it was never enough.

Seto knew that, too. He felt his relationships slip between his fingers like the sands of time, and he didn’t know what to do. There were only three things in his life that mattered, but he didn’t have time for all three. Seto was not easily deterred. This was a challenge, but he welcomed challenges - this was how he was raised.

He thought about it a lot, wondering if he even deserved Katsuya. It wasn’t a matter of self esteem, rather a matter of practicality. It wasn’t right. Seto tried to shake off the thought. They had promised to make it work, and Seto was going to make it work. He pulled out his phone.

_ ‘Katsuya, are you free tomorrow evening? _ ’

Katsuya had his face buried in a pillow, about to drift off to sleep, when his phone buzzed. At first, he wasn’t going to check it, but the flashing little light caught his eye. Fine, he could at least check who it was. To his surprise, it was Seto.

His first reaction was a defeated groan. He didn’t have the time or energy to hang out tomorrow. On the other hand, he couldn’t say no. Seto wanted to try with him, and Katsuya couldn’t say no. If Seto could find time, then so could Katsuya.

‘ _ yeah! sounds good’ _

They agreed on a meeting place and time - they would get dinner from a restaurant not far from Katsuya's house, then Seto would take him home and either go home himself or stay with Katsuya afterwards. They both knew it was more likely he would go home, however, not when all his work was in Domino City. Even if all they had were a couple of hours together, it was more than nothing.

Seto sat in the restaurant alone, waiting for Katsuya, flicking through the menu. He was late; only by five minutes, but when was Katsuya ever late for dinner? Ten minutes, and he hadn't arrived. Seto checked his phone - apart from a text from Mokuba, letting him know he wouldn’t be home this weekend, there was nothing. Twenty minutes, and Seto sent Katsuya a text. Forty minutes, and Seto still hadn’t gotten a response.

An hour, and Seto gave up.

Katsuya didn't see Seto's texts until the morning. He woke up groggy, his head pounding like he had been drinking, but he hadn’t gotten drunk in years. He checked the time: 9:12am. Shit, he couldn't have slept that long - this ate into his study time. He ran his fingers through his hair with a groan. Then, he noticed the text from Seto. Fuck.

‘ _ shit fuck i am so sorry i only just woke up forgive me _ ’

Two hours passed before Seto saw that text, by which time, he was tired and angry. He didn’t sleep the night before; he went straight back to work when he got home, so the last thing he wanted was to be reminded that Katsuya had stood him up. He typed out an angry text -  _ How could you do that to me on one of the few nights we have together? _ \- but quickly deleted it. He would not get angry.

‘ _ Did you sleep well? _ ’

The text sounded like it was dripping with sarcasm, but Seto didn't mean it like that. Katsuya wasn't that sensitive, he would understand.

‘ _ wow calm down sorry that im too tired to hang out’ _

Or not. Seto sighed, putting a hand over his face. He was too damn exhausted for Katsuya’s theatrics.

_ ‘I'm genuinely glad you slept, don't turn this into something ugly.’ _

_ ‘sorry just cranky rn’ _

Yet when Seto was cranky, that wasn't a genuine excuse. That was unfair. Instead of initiating an argument they would both regret, he locked his phone and went back to work. They both needed to cool down.

Seto had no one to talk to about his problems. He had Katsuya, but when Katsuya was the problem, that was a little more difficult. Mokuba had barely spoken to him since Gozaburo's funeral. Who else did Seto have? They were all he had, and he could barely balance either relationship. That was why he needed to try harder with Katsuya.

_ ‘Understandable, as you haven't been sleeping. Get some rest.’ _

_ ‘thanks’ _

Katsuya didn't even know why he was mad. He was tired, that much he knew, but then Seto took two hours to reply. His snappy comment was completely unwelcomed.  _ Did you sleep well _ , psh. Why was Seto being like this?

Two weeks passed without another attempt at a date. Their texts were staggered, replied to when they could squeeze a second from their schedules. It was something, but it wasn’t enough. Texts were just placeholders for the affection they craved. A placeholder was not enough.

It was Katsuya’s turn to try. He begged to switch shifts that Sunday, freeing his day up completely. When Sunday came, Katsuya’s body near refused to get up that morning. It wasn’t like Seto knew he was coming; he wouldn’t have noticed if Katsuya slept the day away. Katsuya  _ had to _ get up. He had to make this work. He promised himself and Seto they would make this work.

He woke up early, dressed in the nicest clothes he owned, which really meant ‘which jeans have the least amount of holes in them?’. He threw on a black pair of jeans that almost looked like nice pants, coupled with a white button-up shirt. He debated between getting flowers and not, but that would have been too much. He took an early train to Domino City, and fought the urge to fall asleep the whole way there.

Seto woke up from an hour nap with his face in his keyboard. He rubbed his eyes, squinting at the screen which had since filled up with pages upon pages of the letter ‘b’. He yawned and stretched, then checked the time. He had four hours before his meeting with Industrial Illusions’ CEO, Pegasus Crawford. He was excited but, at the same time, he was dreading it. Seto had been on the phone to the man, and he knew just how grating he was.

He got up from his desk and went for a shower - he needed to wake himself up and stay sharp for this. Seto could collapse when Pegasus left. He wondered if he would get a chance to talk to Katsuya or Mokuba today, but he doubted it. They were the least of his problems at that moment.

Showered and dressed in fresh clothes, Seto sat back at his desk. He had a little time to sort his work out before Pegasus walked in.

Katsuya arrived at the KaibaCorp building feeling wholly underdressed. He was surrounded by men and women in pressed suits and perfect makeup, while Katsuya remained Katsuya. He moved past people who acted like he was invisible - as rude as it was, it made things easier for him.

He swaggered over to Seto’s assistant, who didn’t look up at him. Katsuya cleared his throat, but she stared at her screen. He bit back his anger, settling on what he hoped was a friendly smile.

“S'cuse me,” Katsuya said.

It wasn't his building, he couldn't cause a scene in here. She finally looked up at Katsuya over her glasses, her expression sour. Well suited to assist the prestigious Seto Kaiba, then. He swallowed. Okay, she wasn’t that scary, but Katsuya’s nerves were on high alert. His smile grew uneasy.

“I'm looking for Mr Kaiba. Tell him Jonouchi Katsuya is here to see him,” he said.

The woman did not stop glaring. “Mr Kaiba is busy, and he doesn't have time for-”

“Trust me! He's gonna let me in when he hears my name.”

Seto remained unaware of what was happening outside his office. He was trying to work - he could successfully block out the ambient noise of voices outside. He thought nothing of the raised voices or the argument that seemed to be building. Security would take care of that.

Then he heard thudding, and a familiar yelp of his name. There was no way. He pushed his chair back and stood, dashing to the door. He opened it to find Katsuya outside, restrained by two guards as he kicked and screamed. The guards tried to drag him out of the building, but Katsuya was resisting.

“Ah, I’ve been expecting you,” Seto said. “Let him go. I have business with Mr Jonouchi.”

The guards let Katsuya go with a huff. He adjusted his clothing as he dashed over to Seto’s side. He stuck his tongue at the receptionist as he passed, following Seto to his office. Idiot. He closed the door behind both of them, and Katsuya flashed him a grin. Any other day, and Seto would have smiled back. Today, however…

“You look wrecked,” Katsuya said with a frown. “You sure you’ve been sleeping?”

Seto wanted to snap, but he held back. No Katsuya, he hadn’t been sleeping. He was busy trying to rebrand KaibaCorp. He didn’t have time to rest. Seto didn’t say that, instead biting down on his tongue.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have studies?” Seto asked.

Katsuya leaned his head back, bewildered. “I- yeah? Thought I needed a break from that, and it looks like you need a break too.”

He looked over at Seto’s desk, where a discarded plate and a cup of stale coffee sat. He frowned at Seto, who folded his arms over his chest defensively. Katsuya sighed - Seto was the one who emphasised tidiness in the first place.

“Step away from your desk for a little while and hang out with me,” Katsuya said.

“Katsuya…” Seto rubbed his face. “I have a meeting with Industrial Illusions in a couple of hours, and I’m unprepared as it is for that. Today’s such a bad day, I can’t-”

“You never can.”

Katsuya’s bitter tone caught both of them off guard. Seto wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. The one time he could, Katsuya couldn’t, and vice versa. It didn’t feel fair; after everything they had been through, did they not deserve this shot? Did they not deserve each other? Seto didn’t want to give up, and Katsuya didn’t either. What could they do?

Seto reached out to touch his face, desperate to wipe the disappointment from Katsuya’s face. He didn’t react. Seto stroked his cheek gently, and Katsuya closed his eyes. This was like a knife in his heart, twisting in his chest.

“Katsuya, I’m sorry. I wish I had more time in the day for you,” Seto said.

Katsuya opened his eyes then and looked straight at Seto. “You’re at least spending time with Mokuba, aren’t you?”

Seto paused. That was answer enough to Katsuya. They both looked at the discarded cup on Seto’s desk, and something inside both of them slotted into place.

“Is this even a good idea?” Katsuya asked quietly.

That was the question neither of them wanted to ask, but it was out there now. Seto stepped back, unsure of how to fix this. It was supposed to be easy. They were supposed to run off into the sunset together and not look back. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Of course it’s a good idea, Katsuya. We can make this work,” Seto said.

“Can we?”

Seto combed his fingers through his hair, nails digging into his scalp. Frustration built up in his chest, and it became harder and harder to contain.

“This is ridiculous. One minute you’re begging for this, and now you’re telling me you want to back down,” Seto hissed.

“That was before things changed. Before your dad died, before you became a CEO, before you moved away.”

_ You _ . It was all Seto’s fault, somehow. It was his fault that his dad died, it was his fault that he had picked career over Katsuya. It wasn’t like Katsuya had picked studies over Seto, like he somehow wasn’t as much to blame. That was enough to bring Seto over the edge.

“It’s all my fault, is it?” Seto spat, taking a step closer. “It’s all my fault that I’ve tried, but you’ve been too tired or busy. It’s my fault that you chose to become a med student. I have news for you Katsuya, but I’m not the only reason this isn’t working.”

And there it was, the three words neither of them wanted to say:  _ this isn’t working _ . They looked at each other without a word. It was over. Katsuya laughed, a bitter and sad laugh, turning away from Seto. They should have known better - when was fate ever on their side?

“It’s not working,” Katsuya scoffed. “You’re right, it’s not. We’re so stupid for thinking we had a shot. I’m stupid for thinking we had a shot.”

Seto wanted to reach out to him, but he realised there was no point. There was no point in pulling Katsuya in, then pushing him away again in an eternal loop. It was time to let this go. Seto closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Katsuya.”

Katsuya waved his hand dismissively. “It’s fine. Really, who cares? Should’ve seen this coming a mile away, right? It just wasn’t meant to be.”

Seto paused, biting his lip. “So it’s over.”

That was met with a sharp, mocking laugh. Seto was about to snap, but Katsuya’s shoulders were heaving. He sniffled, rubbing his eyes.

“Yep. You’re free, Seto. Go look after your company and your brother. I’ve gotta… I need to study.”

“Yes. Good luck with your studies, Katsuya,” Seto said, and Katsuya laughed.

“I’ll need it. See you around, Seto.”

Katsuya walked out, and the room was deathly silent. The office was dark, the only light coming from the cracks of drawn curtains. Seto was alone. He moved back to his desk and sat down, but his screen had long fallen asleep. They should have known that this wasn’t going to work. The fact they had stubbornly held off for so long was a miracle.

Katsuya pushed past a silver-haired man on his way out, furiously wiping his eyes. This was one of the worst days of his life. He wasn’t sure what he expected from this, but he thought they would have lasted at least a little longer. Gozaburo was dead, that should have been the only obstacle. It wasn’t. Maybe in the years to come, they could try again. Katsuya doubted they would ever get that chance again.

“Ah, Kaiba-boy,” Pegasus said as he walked into Seto’s office.

“I didn’t say you could come in,” Seto said.

“You didn’t say I couldn’t,” he hummed with a smile. “I saw a young man charging past with red eyes. I do hope you haven’t been breaking hearts.”

Seto bit his tongue. The less Pegasus knew, the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, but does it really end here? No lmao. We're in it for the long haul again, my dudes. I just... I can't imagine their current situation being a good idea for either of them. But hey. Let's see, right? :D
> 
> Come talk to me on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids)


	2. Chapter 2

The passing weeks were strange. The texts had stopped - it felt too strange to message each other. Seto didn't make the first move. He didn't even know if Katsuya wanted to stay friends, but he couldn't imagine why not. Katsuya would need time to heal, Seto could understand that, but he didn't want their friendship to die like this. He thought Katsuya was his best friend first, and his partner second.

Katsuya wanted it all to be okay. Not just their friendship, but he wanted their relationship back. Of course, if Seto didn't want to, then there was nothing Katsuya could do. The least they could do was try to repair their friendship.

He stared at his phone, humming in thought. He didn't know what he could say. This was his first relationship; he had no idea how to deal with the post-breakup awkwardness. He couldn't think of anything to say.

Seto typed away at his computer, trying to lose himself in work. His phone screen glimmered mischievously beside him, the little light up at the top flashing. It wasn't Katsuya - he had checked - but that was all he could think about. He wanted nothing more than to ask for forgiveness, to take it all back. Seto was selfish, but he didn't care. He needed Katsuya.

That was the problem. He may have needed Katsuya, but it didn't mean he automatically had a right to him. In a lapse of judgement, he grabbed his phone and tapped out three little words:

_ ‘I miss you.’ _

The words gave Katsuya pause. Of course he missed Seto, but it was too soon. Either that, or Katsuya was unusually sensitive.

‘ _ thats a little heavy’ _

_ ‘It is, but I feel like if I don't say anything now, I'll never get the chance to. I'm sorry.’ _

_ ‘uh yeah no its fine just didnt expect it from you’ _

It was not fine. Neither of them knew what to say to that. Seto shouldn't have said anything, but he refused to apologise. He had nothing to be sorry for.

_ ‘i dont think i can do this rn’ _

_ ‘I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk to you.’ _

_ ‘yeah i know me too but _

_ i think maybe we need some more distance’ _

What did Seto expect? Well, it wasn't that. He frowned at his phone, before tapping out a response.

‘ _ Of course. When you feel ready to talk, you always have my number. _ ’

Except Katsuya didn't call. He didn't text. He didn't even try to come over. It wasn't because he didn't want to, but he couldn't. Life demanded too much of him as it is, and frankly, he didn't have the energy to try and mend their broken relationship. There simply weren't enough hours in the day for everything.

He wanted to. His thoughts drifted off to Seto often, and he would reach for his phone. Katsuya would draft a text before deleting it. He had homework. He had work. He had classes. Katsuya didn't have the energy anymore.

His energy was further drained when his father tried to call him and text him. At first, Katsuya thought that his father would be asking for forgiveness. Instead, he was begging Katsuya for money. When blocking his number didn't help matters, Katsuya changed his number instead - no more unwanted texts and phone calls.

Weeks went by without contact between Seto and Katsuya. Seto knew that he told Katsuya to take as long as he wanted, but a text to show Seto was thinking about him wouldn't have gone amiss, right?

‘ _ I hope that you're well. _ ’

UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.

That was impossible - KaibaCorp always had signal. Seto tried again, but it came up with the same message over and over. He tried stepping outside, but to no avail. He tried calling instead.

“I'm sorry, but the number you're trying to reach is no longer in-”

Seto hung up. Katsuya hadn't blocked him, surely. He may have been petty, but not that petty. There were two ways he could know for sure. He could drop in at Katsuya's like a stalking, bitter ex. Or he could pick the second option.

He pulled up at a familiar game shop - at least Seto hoped it was this one. The store was tiny on the outside, with GAME written on top of the building. This had to be the place.

He opened the door and stepped in. Rare cards were stood up neatly on polished glass shelves, hidden behind glass doors. There were little signs reminding people to keep off the glass - likely for small kids. There was a collection of cards; Duel Monsters, Pokemon, Vanguard, Magic the Gathering, to name a few. A few collectors’ items were dotted around, along with board games. He had never been in here before, but he wished he had. It was a cute, interesting little place.

“Kaiba?”

The little voice caught Seto’s attention. He looked at the counter and saw Yugi staring over at him in disbelief. In that moment, he realised that this wasn't much better than the first option. Seto turned to face him.

“Yugi,” he said, taking a step closer. “I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

Yugi frowned. “Business or personal?”

It’s like Yugi could see right through him. Seto approached him carefully. He pressed his hands on the counter, leaning closer and towering over the younger man.

“Jonouchi changed his number,” he said. Yugi stiffened. “I’m not asking for his number. I’m asking you to ask him to talk to me.”

Yugi didn’t budge. His brow furrowed, staring up at Seto. He was searching for a way to say no, clearly, but he was too polite. That was Seto’s only chance.

“I don’t know, if he hasn’t contacted you…” he mumbled.

Seto’s hands balled into fists on the counter. “Just ask him to text me. That’s all I wanted.”

Before Yugi could say anything, Seto had left. He would know how Katsuya felt one way or another. If Katsuya didn’t say anything, Seto would know that it was all over.

Seto found his answer in the coming months: the silence was deafening.

***

‘Later’ was Katsuya’s favourite word. He would finish that  _ later _ . He would eat  _ later. _ He would text Seto  _ later _ . Most of the time, later never came. Assignments were finished at the last minute. Dinner would sit, uneaten. And he never did text Seto.

Yugi had passed on Seto's message in the middle of exam season. At the time, it felt so minuscule - because it was. Seto would’ve understood if Katsuya waited until exam season was over. Except exam season flew by, and Katsuya still hadn’t texted him. If Seto wanted him so badly, why didn’t he ever call?

It took a year for Katsuya to realise what had happened. By then, it was far too late. He couldn't go back now, even if he wanted to. They had both moved on with their lives.

KaibaCorp had rebranded itself as a gaming company, a fact that was on every damn news channel and every newspaper. Katsuya was faced with Seto’s cold face no matter where he went. Distantly, he had considered going to see Seto and talking to him, or maybe sending a text. His contact sat in his phone, untouched in over a year. It was over - they were over. Katsuya was accepting that.

The gossip magazines cared only about one thing: when was Seto Kaiba going to get married? There were rumours, because there were always rumours. Seto had been spotted with Mai Kujaku, who was a little too friendly with the young billionaire. Katsuya scoffed at the glossy pages. If only they knew what he did. Of course, there were rumours that Seto was gay, but those circled with every famous bachelor, so they were disregarded.

“How can someone that hot be into men?” he heard one woman tut. “That would be a crime.”

Send Seto to jail then, because he was only interested in men.

His interests were on one man in particular: Katsuya Jonouchi.

It had been a while, but he supposed he needed closure. It was hard to let go of the feelings he had, though he knew it was over. The ache in his heart was dulled, like poking at a scab. Seto just had to try not to peel it off.

In his drawer, hidden among other junk and paperwork, sat a little keyring. It was the day Katsuya dragged him to Disneyland, with Seto looking positively terrified - even now, rollercoasters weren’t his thing. He remembered Katsuya’s face, the smug grin after they exited the ride, and how happy he was to get this little souvenir. He looked at it from time to time and he wondered what could have been if their positions were different. If they were regular college students, it could have worked. They could have stayed together.

He held the plastic photo in his hand and stared at it, the loop sitting on his finger like a ring. That year he spent in Katsuya’s company was the best year of his life. Maybe just to himself, he could admit he might have been in love. The first love stung the most.

Seto thought about him often while he worked. He hoped Katsuya was still in school, that he hadn't given up on his dreams. Maybe it would turn out that Katsuya would save his life, or even Mokuba’s life. But no, life didn’t work like that. It wasn’t that simple. In the end, it was time to let go. He put the keychain in the back of the drawer, stashing the memories along with it.

The years moved on, as did Seto and Katsuya.

Seto’s focus was on the company; he didn’t seek out romance. If it happened, it happened, though he would never forget about Katsuya. He would rather keep growing KaibaCorp than chase down romance. He spent more time with Mokuba, and had discovered Mokuba had some artistic talent. At eighteen, he left for college - some prestigious art school outside of Japan. Seto was very proud of his little brother.

Seto tried dating - mostly women - but it never went anywhere. He could admit he simply wasn't trying. He was pushing thirty, and yet he was still single. It wasn't terribly uncommon for men his age to be single - at least not in Japan - but that didn't stop people from making stuff up.

He was aware of the rumours. He was aware that papers (or wasted trees, as Seto liked to put it) had been making up romances for him. His favourite one, coupled with the rumour of his sexuality, was that he was seeing Jack Atlas. After some research, he realised the man was some kind of actor for a series he didn't care for with an ego about the same size as Seto's. It was funny, really. People would believe whatever they wanted.

KaibaCorp was growing larger and larger with every passing years. With connections to Industrial Illusions, they developed games, toys, and soon, he would open Kaibaland. Things were coming together. Over a decade of hard work had taken him to this point, and truly, it was worth it.

Seto was happy. He had his brother and his company. Really, what else could he possibly want?

***

Katsuya finished med school and took up residence back at Domino City. He was glad to be back home. Maybe one day, he could leave this place and move somewhere else. For now, he couldn't think of anywhere he would rather be.

He liked his job, but it came with its downsides - particularly when it came to death. The first patient Katsuya had lost was an old man by the name of Sugoroku Mutou, with his grandson Yugi by his side the whole time. It was surreal. Yugi looked at him like somehow their friendship would keep his grandfather alive, but it didn't. Katsuya did all he could, despite tiredness clinging to him, despite knowing who this man was.

That flatline ran through his soul like a bell. It was too late. The poor old man never stood a chance.

Things were a little strange with Yugi after that, but that was because Katsuya was making it strange. There was no coming back from  _ I'm sorry I killed your grandpa _ . Even if Yugi didn't blame him, Katsuya blamed himself. That was enough.

The best thing about the hospital was that it kept Katsuya busy, but not as busy as studying and working at the same time did. The worst thing was, if Katsuya screwed up now, it was someone a life on the line. That changed nothing. Katsuya loved his job, and he knew this was where he was supposed to be.

Domino City remained unchanged in the past decade, and Katsuya was glad. He loved his home town. He didn't love Hiroto dragging him out for boys’ nights with Yugi. It was easy to get girls when you're a doctor, so that wasn't an issue. The issue came with Hiroto’s jealous whining the next day. It wasn't Katsuya's fault that girls loved doctors.

They hung out frequently, and even set up movie nights when Katsuya was free. Fine, it might have been childish, but Katsuya liked being able to relax with his friends. It wasn't like any of them paid attention, preferring discussion to the shitty movie playing in the background.

“Have you guys heard about Kaibaland?” Hiroto asked, shovelling popcorn into his mouth.

Of course Katsuya had. It was all over the papers; Seto had opened a theme park not far from Domino City. It was huge, full of state of the art virtual reality systems, and it wasn't far from town. After so long, the park was finally opening. Katsuya was excited; it was one of the few places that offered holographic games. 

“Duh,” he scoffed. “What about it?”

“We should all go! Obviously!” Hiroto said with a big smile. “Man, it just sucks you’re not friends with that Kaiba anymore. We probably could’ve gotten free tickets.”

Yugi looked at both of them then, like he was waiting for Katsuya to pipe up. Maybe a few years ago, he would have told Hiroto to fuck himself. The name had lost its edge. Katsuya shrugged instead.

“Can’t use me to mooch off a rich man. Find your own sugar daddy,” Katsuya said.

Hiroto laughed, but Katsuya didn’t. He wasn’t sure what he’d told Hiroto and Anzu - even what he’d told Yugi was very limited. He wasn’t about to open up that can of worms, though - there were certain things that should be left unsaid.

“We could go,” Yugi said, shooting a look of  _ is that okay _ to Katsuya. He waved his hand dismissively.

“Sure, sure, sounds fun. Gimme a time and date, and we’ll go to Kaibaland.”

It had been a while since Katsuya had let his hair down. This could be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little rambly, but I had to stab the great wall of writer's block to get this out. My being hurts. Anyway because of this I dunno when the next one will come out. Writing is difficult atm
> 
> Follow my [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids)


	3. Chapter 3

On the day of Kaibaland’s opening, Seto was relieved. Years of work had lead up to this moment, finally establishing KaibaCorp as a global company. An attraction was part of an advertisement campaign with Industrial Illusions - plus, it was the only way he could legally open a Blue Eyes White Dragon Ride. From social media ravings he’d seen, that was one of the most anticipated rides.

On opening day, the queues did not disappoint. The park was full of children rushing around without a care in the world, and it was a joy to watch. Seto stayed for the whole day to ensure nothing went wrong, and it didn’t. The years of hard work were worth it to stand in his own theme park.

For its grand opening, Seto had allowed orphans in first, giving them a day to remember. Of course, this was seen as a giant publicity stunt, but Seto didn't care. As long as the kids were happy, he couldn't care less what the press thought of it. The press spoke of him positively - they claimed Seto was taking after his father.

He stopped reading after that.

Mokuba still didn't know what happened, and if Seto could help it, he would never find out.

The only downside was that Mokuba couldn’t come on opening day - on the plus side, nor could Noah. Instead, the two brothers called him in the evening.

“So if orphans go for free,” Noah hummed, “does this mean Mokuba and I get free passes?”

Seto scoffed. “First of all, you're too old to count as an orphan. Secondly, you'd be lucky to be let in.”

“Oh dear brother, I'm hurt,” Noah said with a heavy sigh.

Seto rolled his eyes. Noah was in his mid thirties by now, yet he still acted like he was fifteen. Seto feared his brother would never grow up.

“Can I get a pass?” Mokuba asked.

“Of course. I'll get one ready for you when you come over,” Seto said.

“But not for me? I thought we had finally made up!”

Seto didn't know why Noah needed a pass in the first place; he had money and he was an adult, despite how he acted. Yet Seto was enabling him by setting him up with a free pass of his own. It wasn’t his fault; family was Seto’s weak point. It didn’t change how irritating Noah was, however.

“I'll be in town next week, Seto. You could show me,” Mokuba said.

“If you have the time, I'd be happy to take you.”

Mokuba's life was almost as busy as Seto's. He was constantly travelling, searching for artistic inspiration since he had finished college. While Seto didn’t understand his brother’s dream, he would support it as much as he could. He only wished Mokuba would find somewhere and settle down, but that seemed unlikely. He would stay at Seto's for likely around a month, before jetting off to some other country.

Seto went to meet him at the airport on the day. He brought his laptop with him to keep working; Seto didn't want to waste his free time. For now, Seto was ahead of schedule, but that could change in an instant.

He stood at the airport, arms crossed and tapping on his elbow. Mokuba wasn't late, but his flight had just arrived and Seto was impatient. After half an hour, he should have been out by now. He sighed heavily, his gaze darting around the room. Mokuba was taking his time.

Someone threw their arm around his shoulder, and he was ready to shove them off until he heard a laugh.

“Seto!” Mokuba said. “You're as stiff as ever.”

Mokuba was dressed in jeans and a regular t-shirt, grinning. Simple attire, but not many people wanted to fly in a suit. It was an airport, not the opera. Seto pulled himself away.

“Whereas you could do with straightening up,” Seto said, dusting off his suit.

“I know how to be serious when it counts. Turns out visiting you isn't one of those times. C'mon, I wanna get home already!”

The driver took Mokuba's suitcase and they headed back to the car. Seto eyed up the laptop when they got inside, but he resisted the urge. He wanted to spend time with Mokuba, not ignore him for spreadsheets. It never hurt to be early with work rather than punctual.

“Your fingers are twitching,” Mokuba said with a sigh. “Just do it.”

Seto wanted to argue, but the spreadsheets were calling him like a siren. He put the laptop on his lap, but didn't open it, not yet.

“So, when are we going to Kaibaland?” Mokuba asked, his eyes sparkling with the enthusiasm of a child.

“Tomorrow, I'd assume. You need rest - you've had a long flight.”

Mokuba huffed, before leaning back against the car seat. “Fine.”

Some things never changed. Upon arrival at the Kaiba house, Mokuba made himself at home. His belongings were everywhere - not dirty, but Seto could tell when his brother had been in a room. Papers or notebooks left lying around, spare change on the couch, crumbs in the kitchen. Mokuba was never hard to locate.

“If I see one more crumb left in the kitchen, I'm emptying out the toaster crumbs on your bed,” Seto warned through gritted teeth.

“Sorry,” Mokuba said without even looking at Seto.

One day, Seto really would fulfil that promise.

The next day, he had another promise to fulfil: Kaibaland. Seto didn't expect Mokuba to barge in at 7, dressed and ready to go. His hands sat on his hips and he beamed at his older brother. He really was still a kid, despite wearing a suit and looking like an adult. At least he could pretend to look like a vice president for a day. Seto locked his computer, then stood.

“I take it you're ready,” he said.

“I've been ready for  _ hours  _ Seto, keep up,” Mokuba laughed. 

Seto could always count on him to be in high spirits. He shrugged on his jacket as he made his way out the door, with Mokuba in tow.

***

Kaibaland was busy, even for a weekday, but that was to be expected. The crowds were excited - mostly kids on field trips clutching the straps of their backpacks. The queues were long, but 30 minutes wasn't too bad for a theme park. Unless one was impatient.

“Bored. So bored,” Katsuya groaned, banging his head against the wall in the queue. “Why ain't the queue moving?”

“You insisted we go to the busiest ride first,” Yugi said with a frown.

“I didn't think it would be this busy! It's a Tuesday!”

He was never one for patience, but it said something about Katsuya that even the children around him were waiting quietly. He pulled on his hair, anything to ease the boredom. They were nearly at the front by now, after a 30 minute wait. Katsuya couldn't wait to get on, bouncing on his heels. Age did not stop him from being a child at heart, nor did his profession mature him. Then again, at a theme park, he wasn't Doctor Jonouchi.

He grinned to himself at the thought. Despite it all, he couldn't stop swelling with pride every time he remembered his title. Hell yeah, he'd made it - he was a doctor.

“Are you getting in or not?” Anzu asked as she waved her hand over his face.

“Huh? Uh... yeah! Yeah, I'm getting in.”

The most popular ride was easily the Blue Eyes White Dragon roller coaster. It was tall, terrifying and bright - not to mention the first thing anyone could see for miles before arriving at the park. He sat down next to Yugi before getting locked into the ride.

The ride slowly creeped up the hill, with each click building Katsuya's excitement. He gripped the harness tightly and laughed as he looked over at Yugi. Even as an adult he was still tiny, clutching onto the seat like he would fall if he let go. He was pale, wide eyed as he watched the hill. Hopefully, he wouldn't fall out.

Katsuya's thoughts snapped to Seto all those years ago in Paris. He was just as terrified on those rides. He took a sharp breath and slammed out that thought; he had better things to think about.

The drop caught him off guard and he screamed as his body was thrown down. Adrenaline pumped in his veins, and he couldn't stop screaming. He wasn't scared, but he wasn't quite having fun either. His stomach was clenched, but it wasn't from the ride. The feeling was awful, inexplicable, and then the ride was finally over. Katsuya was glad to step off the ride, even if on shaking legs. He brushed hair out of his face and a friendly hand touched his back.

“Yo, Jonouchi, you okay?” Hiroto asked.

“Sure, yeah, the ride was just higher than I expected,” Katsuya mumbled.

Fine, getting Seto out of his head was hard in the guy's theme park. Katsuya thought it would have been fine -  _ it was years ago _ , he reminded himself over and over - yet the thoughts dropped like rain in a bucket. There was no letting go of a first love.

Eager to brush away the thoughts, Katsuya turned to Yugi and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. The smaller man yelped as he was squeezed.

“I heard there's a state of the art duel arena, with real holograms!” Katsuya said. “Whaddya say, Yugi? Wanna duel?”

Yugi nodded. “You're on!”

Katsuya had heard rumours about the duel arenas. The monsters looked real, felt real,  _ smelled _ real. Katsuya didn't believe it, not until he saw it for himself. He tried not to run 

His deck remained largely unchanged. His cards sat in shiny protectors, but some had already started to wear away with age, no matter what he did. His deck was still based on luck, because he still believed in his luck. It was hardly a strategy, and he didn't always win this way, but as long as he believed in his cards, he could do anything. That was what Yugi had taught him, and despite growing out of crap like magic, there were some things Katsuya would never let go of.

For the moment, the duel arena was empty, and they had their pick of the stadiums. Katsuya ran around, taking it all in. He felt like a young kid all over again. He remembered sitting in school with Yugi playing Duel Monsters on a mat; playing with holograms didn’t feel real. He put a hand on one of the stadiums and let out a low whistle.

“Can't believe he built something like this,” Katsuya muttered.

“Jonouchi?” Yugi said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah! Just admiring some handiwork, that's all.”

Katsuya couldn't help but wonder: had Seto helped design these? Was this his idea? How involved was he with building this park? He shook off his thoughts and turned around to walk to one of the platforms, but stopped in his tracks.

“This place is one of a kind - you’ll never find duel technology like this anywhere else,” Seto said, gesturing to the stadiums.

“Do you think we could have a duel? I haven't seen the finished product yet,” Mokuba said.

“Mokuba, I don't have time to-”

The brothers stopped. Before them stood a familiar man, with the same shaggy blond hair he sported a decade ago. He had wisps of blond hair growing from his jaw, a pathetic attempt at a beard Seto assumed. Still in jeans and a shirt. For a moment, Seto swore he was hallucinating, but the vision didn’t go. The man stared back at him, just as bewildered.

“Jonouchi Katsuya?” Seto asked carefully, waiting for the prank to end.

Katsuya nodded, his throat dry. What could he say? Were they on first name basis? Should he run? He wanted to run, but he didn't know if he wanted to run away, or run into Seto's arms. He couldn't move, caught like a caged animap. This wasn't happening, this was a dream - none of this was real. He took a deep breath, before steadying himself.

“Yeah, hey,” Katsuya said, his voice raising into a nervous squeak. “Look at you, Mokuba! You're not that tiny runt anymore.”

Mokuba tugged at his suit with a snort. “No way! I'm my own man now.”

Under any other circumstances, Seto would have reminded him that being his own man meant paying for his own bills. At the moment, he couldn't speak. Seto Kaiba was never rendered  _ speechless _ , but with Katsuya, all the words evaporated on his tongue like water in a heat wave. It had been so long, yet it felt like no time at all had passed.

“I didn't know you were back in town,” Seto said. He fought to keep his tone even and cold.

“Well, it was Honda who-”

Katsuya looked behind him to gesture to his friends. Yugi, Hiroto and Anzu had left him with Seto. This had to be a form of torture. He rubbed the back of his neck as he turned back to Seto.

“Yeah, I was just here with my friends. But I'm back in Domino City, for now anyway,” Katsuya said with an awkward laugh.

“I see. I was showing Mokuba around the park as he's never been here, and I had business to attend to anyway,” Seto said.

“Huh, he’s never been here? I thought Mokuba followed you everywhere.”

Seto shook his head. “No. After my… after Gozaburo's passing, things were strained for some time. Then he became a teenager with his own interests, and he stopped needing me.”

Seto wasn't upset over it; this was just how life is. His brother was free to live the life he wanted, even if it was on Seto's dime. Katsuya offered him a sympathetic smile.

“Man, you haven't changed at all, have you,” Katsuya laughed.

“No, but neither have you,” Seto said.

Katsuya huffed, but Seto was right. He didn't feel like he'd changed much at all. He was still a child, still immature. No wonder he was permanently single. He swallowed back the bitter feeling. He took a step back: he didn’t want to deal with this, not now and not ever.

“I should get going anyway. I gotta fine Yugi and the guys. It was nice seeing-”

“Jonouchi, wait.”

To his surprise, Katsuya did wait. Seto didn't know what to say. A part of him demanded him to ask Katsuya to take a walk with him, another demanded him to send him away. A part wanted to pull him close, another wanted to run. There had to be a middle ground, but he couldn’t find it. Distance was best.

“I wanted to apologise for the way things ended. I don't deal in  _ ifs _ and  _ buts _ , so I don't regret what happened and I refuse to dwell on the past. All I hope is that you're living a happy life,” Seto said. “That's all I wanted.”

Katsuya gave him a small smile. “Yeah. Thanks, Kaiba. You too.”

Seto gave him the ghost of a smile in a return. Even that tiny twitch of his lips runed Katsuya. He hadn't seen that smile in years, not even in the magazine photos and interviews he'd caught glimpses of. That smile was special, just for him. Seto walked away, and Katsuya was left with an ache in his heart. This wasn’t supposed to happen - Seto wasn’t supposed to walk into his life and walk back out. It wasn’t fair. He pulled out his friends and tapped out a text to Yugi to find the others.

Seto combed his fingers through his hair as he left. He hasn't felt a rush like that in years, not since he was a young man. He was nauseous and nervous all over again. He'd told himself to get over Katsuya, but Seto realised he was never truly over him in the first place. He wasn't sure he would ever get over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention I love first time reunions after many years? No? Well now you know :3c
> 
> Bug me on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids)


	4. Chapter 4

When Seto found Mokuba that day, he pretended nothing happened and refused to talk about it. There was nothing to say. Yes, they had seen Katsuya, and yes he and Seto had a conversation. It didn't mean anything beyond that. Mokuba kept grinning at him, waiting to say something, but Seto changed the subject every time. Mokuba kept pushing, but Seto pushed back with a question of his own.

"When are you leaving again?"

Mokuba laughed. "I only just got here! I’m here until the end of the month. You can't kick me out, not when you need me."

Normally, Seto would be happy to have Mokuba around. Mokuba was irritating him with his Cheshire smiles that reminded him too much of Noah. That was another headache he didn't need, but thankfully, Noah wasn't due back in Japan for three months.

At least, he hoped that was the case.

Seto didn't have time to think about Katsuya - or rather, he didn't allow himself the time. After the Kaibaland debacle, Seto had thrown away his memory in a drawer and locked it away safely. One day, he would deal with the memories and the thoughts, but not today. Seto Kaiba was built to deal with anything: server malfunctions, hacks, leaks, rumours. He could not, and would not, deal with personal relationships.

“You ever wonder why guys leave you pretty quickly?” Mokuba asked.

“No."

Of course he knew why. Seto was too busy and not emotionally available enough for someone else in his life. He struggled enough keeping Mokuba in his life without adding a potential partner to the mix. He had no business trying for romance at the moment.

Mokuba sat on the couch in his office, idly flicking through channels. They were background noise to him. He claimed he couldn't sketch in silence. Seto didn't know why he couldn't draw elsewhere, but he supposed the company was nice. Silence, however, was better.

“Don’t forget I have meetings today, so you can’t sit here all day,” Seto said.

“Seto, stop treating me like a little kid,” Mokuba frowned. “As vice president, I have every right to sit in on meetings!”

"You have a sudden interest." Seto raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Can't I care? I wanna meet Pegasus, for starters. And again, I'm still VP."

Mokuba was going to sit there no matter what Seto said.

“I feel like you just want to sit there and grin at me for a few hours."

“I won’t!”

Seto sighed. “Fine. As long as you can behave.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

They both knew what bullshit that was.

***

That day didn't feel real, a dream Katsuya couldn't wake from. But it was all too real - the ache in his heart hurt too much to be but a dream.

He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. A part of Katsuya wanted to go to Seto's house and bang on the door until either security kicked him out, or Seto answered. Luckily, the only thing stopping this flash of brilliance were the long shifts at work.

Katsuya was exhausted. His body ached almost as much as his mind did. It was hard to keep his focus when his head brought back memories to the surface, bobbing like bodies. No matter how hard he tried to push them down, they floated back. It didn't help that Yugi was constantly badgering him about what happened, asking if he was alright. He was  _ fine _ . After two weeks of saying he was fine, Yugi should have taken the hint.

Katsuya came home every day to the same shitty apartment he rented when he first moved back to Domino City when he didn't have the money. He had the money for something bigger, but no time to move. It suited him just fine for the moment. It had enough space for him to make lazy dinners, vegetate on the couch, and go to bed. He was happy.

_ Life would be different if you'd stayed, _ his mind hummed.

Katsuya slammed down that thought. He had made the right choices in life. He had a good job, he was texting the gift shop girl from work - her name was Mai, and things were going pretty well - he had money. Honestly, this was more than what he'd had ten years ago. Had he stayed with Seto, he would have been tempted to stay in complacency and become Seto's pampered lapdog. Even if his heart disagreed, Katsuya knew he made a good choice. His heart could shut the hell up.

Sometimes, when he texted Mai, he looked at Seto's old contact information. He wondered if it still worked. He never tested it out, and he never would. He saw no point in digging up the past. It was over: let it be over.

***

Life went on. It always did, marching ever onwards.

No matter the march of time, Seto was never one to let go of something. In his spare moments, he held the ancient keychain he had hidden away between his fingers. It dangled, twisting in his hand as he lost himself in memories all over again. It didn't feel like it had been so long ago. Seto never let go, so why was this any different?

"Mr Kaiba-"

Seto dropped the chain back into the drawer and closed it, before going back to work. The door opened just as his eyes scanned over his monitor. He looked up from his screen to see his assistant hovering by the door.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Did you come here for a wellness check?"

She shook her head. "No, sir. Your four o'clock meeting has been cancelled due to a family emergency."

Dammit. He'd spent most of the day rushing around to get everything ready for that meeting. Seto rubbed his temple.

"Thank you Kotori," he said. "Is that all?"

"Yes sir."

Kotori gave a short bow before dismissing herself from his office. Seto looked back at the screen. No new emails. Nothing to check on. He leaned back in his chair, his knee knocking into his desk. He hissed in pain, before his eyes fell on the drawer. Seto's mind ran into overdrive with thoughts. He wondered if he could find anything on Katsuya - it couldn't have been hard to find. In a new tab, Seto began his search.

It didn't take long to find him. He was still single and still friends with Yugi. His feed was full of photos from the recent Kaibaland trip and tagging a girl Seto did not recognise. Katsuya was a doctor - he'd taken a selfie on his first day in his scrubs. He was successful, like Seto knew he would be. He clicked on the message button but stopped himself.

This felt wrong, even a little stalking. Seto was opening old wounds, but they'd already been pried open, sore and infected welts on a limb. All he was doing was adding salt to the wound: if the limb was only going to be cut off, it didn't matter. It would only be one message, and Katsuya could choose to ignore him. What about that girl? Seto ignored the thought. He didn't want more out of Katsuya. Or so he told himself.

He typed out a simple message.

' _ I'm proud of you. Congratulations on your doctorate. _ '

Katsuya had a few moments of peace before he had another patient to look after. He stuffed his face into a pillow in the on-call room, his eyes slamming shut. Five minutes was all he needed. He wouldn't even get that much. His phone pinged, and he almost wanted to cry from frustration. The only positive was that he was still vaguely awake instead of fully asleep.

He sat up, but it wasn't an important: just something on social media. Katsuya almost fell back into the pillows until he saw the name and the icon. He could have dismissed it as fake, but the verified badge beside his name told a different story. Katsuya raised a hand to his mouth. Seto Kaiba had sent him a message. There was no way he could sleep now.

' _ ty i can't believe i did it either lol _

_ also congrats on building kc into smth so big _ '

' _ Thank you. _ '

Neither of them knew what to say. Seto clicked on another tab, but the previous tab still taunted him from the corner of his eye. With a resigned sigh, he opened it up again, his hands on the keyboard. There had to be more to say. He could ask about the girl. He could ask about work. Katsuya was already typing.

_ 'at work atm so can't talk much but bet you're in the same boat _ '

Hah. Katsuya knew him too well. Seto shook his head.

' _ I am. But I have time; my meeting got cancelled. _ '

' _ ooh kaiba seto is spending his precious free time talking to me i feel special _ '

' _ Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. _ '

Shit. Katsuya was losing him. His fingers raked through his hair. He shouldn't care, yet a part of him clamoured for closeness.

' _ ok in all seriousness do you wanna meet up sometime?? if no that's ok _

_ for old times sake just as bros you know?? _ '

"Jonounchi," a nurse said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "What are you doing?"

"I was trying to take a nap!"

He realised the excuse looked flimsy when he was holding his phone. Her eyes narrowed into a glare, hand on her hips.

"Alright, alright, m'up," he muttered before abandoning his phone in his pocket.

Katsuya's message pinged on Seto's screen like a warning:  _ don't fall down this route all over again _ . He was never good at listening to his own advice when it came to emotions. What was life without a little self destruction, anyway? An email notification graced his screen - Pegasus again. Ever since losing his wife, he had grown increasingly clingy. He tapped his finger against his control key, listless.

Despite all the warnings his head and heart gave him, Seto had no intention of listening. He opened the chat with Katsuya.

' _ When? _ '

He regretted sending the message almost immediately after hitting enter. It was too late to say no, even if he wanted to. Katsuya was offline, and remained that way for some time. Seto went back to work, though his eyes constantly flicked over to the tab in hopes for a new message that didn't come.

The hours flashed by in snapshots of paperwork, emails and phone calls. Before Seto knew it, it was eight in the evening. Mokuba barged into the room, making demands for dinner. He could eat without Seto, but he refused. If he was here for a visit, they may as well eat together. Seto didn't make much of a fuss. He asked for a moment to lock his computer, and Mokuba allowed this. Why Seto was letting his little brother boss him around, he didn't know.

He was about to lock it when a notification pinged. Katsuya. His heart jumped to his throat, choking him.

_ 'lunch tomorrow? _ '

Mokuba was looking at him expectantly. Seto paid him no mind. He flicked through tomorrow's schedule: he was free for lunch at the very least. And if he wasn't, he could learn to make time. Seto looked over at Mokuba. Yes, he could make time for people he cared about.

' _ Of course. Give me a location and I'll be there. _ '

After that, he locked his computer and went for dinner with Mokuba. His brother nudged his arm as they walk with a mischievous grin.

"What's that face you're pulling? Is Tinder finally working out for you?"

Seto frowned. "What makes you think I'm on there?"

He had given up on dating sites years ago, back when he gave up on pretending to be straight. Most of the women he had spoken to only wanted a slice of his fame and his wealth. He wished them luck, but he wasn't after a trophy. He wanted a real connection. With how Seto was, that was unlikely.

"Someone I went to school with messaged me with a screenshot of your profile," Mokuba shrugged. "You didn't answer my question."

"Report that account, I don't use Tinder." Casual hook ups were never his thing. "So no, it's not from a dating site."

"You're not gonna tell me?"

"No."

Mokuba huffed. There were some things Seto could keep to himself. The last thing he wanted was for Mokuba to get needlessly excited. Two old friends having lunch at what would presumably be a grease factory was nothing to write home about.

Katsuya laid on his couch, staring up at his phone screen. He tapped out an address and sent it to Seto almost in disbelief. What were they doing? What was  _ he _ doing? He closed his eyes. He searched through his contacts quickly before finding Yugi. His thumb hovered over the contact button before he stopped himself. He'd gotten himself into this mess. No need to drag Yugi into it.

His eyes fell on Mai's name. Katsuya wasn't in the mood to talk to her, or anyone else for that matter.

He didn't know what he was feeling. Excitement? A tinge of guilt? Nerves? Hopefully Seto wouldn't be sick this time. The thought made Katsuya laugh; he'd almost forgotten all about that. He didn't know why he was worrying himself so much. It was only lunch - it wasn't a candlelit dinner by the stars. It was old friends catching up.

The only person Katsuya was fooling was himself. Even then, he wasn't doing a good job. He turned the TV on and let himself drift off to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be something else. He hoped he wasn't making a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! I know I said this has no schedule, but I did still want to update once a month. But, you know, got wrapped up writing my book and all. Oops! But these two, man. These two
> 
> Bug me on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids)


	5. Chapter 5

It was just lunch.

Seto repeated those words endlessly, though it didn't ease any of his anxiety. He wasn't sure why he was was anxious.

It was just lunch.

He put on a nice shirt and nice pants and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like he was trying too hard. Was this too much?

_ It was just lunch _ .

He was over thinking it, but it was part of his nature. If he wasn't five steps ahead, he wasn't trying hard enough. Even for him, this might have been trying too hard. His hair had been combed, messed up, and combed again, until he threw the comb down on his dresser. While he was only meeting Katsuya for lunch, it felt like so much more. In any case, Seto couldn't go out looking like a mess.

If people caught him looking nice with another man, what would they think? They likely wouldn't think anything of it, but he didn't want to take any chances. Despite Japan being more liberal than any other Asian countries, a sexuality scandal was still a scandal.

He examined himself in the mirror. He didn't look like he was putting too much effort into his appearance: he looked normal enough. He shrugged on his jacket and poked his head in the living room, where Mokuba was laying on the couch. When the door opened, his brother hardly stirred. Seto never understood how Mokuba got anything done when he spent so long on the couch.

"I'm going out," he said. "Make sure nothing goes wrong in my absence. Also, be sure that your roots don't go too deep into the couch."

"Huh? Where're you going?" Mokuba asked.

"Out," Seto said, before walking away.

"Have a nice date!" Mokuba called with a laugh.

Seto had learned his lesson: do not argue against that comment. It only made Seto look guilty. He'd made that mistake before and Mokuba badgered him for a month on details. Mokuba was as annoyingly tenacious as his older brother. Seto didn't know whether or not he was proud of th at trait.

Seto put on his shoes and made his way out the door. It was a short drive to the address Katsuya had sent him, but he would rather be early and beat the lunchtime rush. It would give him plenty of time to relax before Katsuya arrive, who was never good at being punctual.

As soon as Katsuya got a chance to go for lunch, he did. He got changed into regular clothes as quickly as he could - going out in scrubs felt too much like bragging - and all but ran out of the hospital. He prayed no one would stop him, especially not Mai. Katsuya promised himself that he would tell her everything when it was over, even though it didn't matter. Seeing Seto again wasn't a big deal. If Mai wanted to hang out with an ex, Katsuya wouldn't care. They weren't even dating, just texting.

Why was Katsuya trying to justify his actions? He had no reason to feel guilty. He shoved Mai to the back of his mind and kept running.

Katsuya had picked a place not far from the hospital; it made life a little easier for him in case he needed to get back in a hurry. He waited by the entrance, arms across his chest as his fingers drummed a beat on his arm. He scanned across the car park, but he couldn't see Seto. It wasn't like him to be late. Maybe he had cancelled. Katsuya fished his phone from his pocket.

' _ where are u?? _ '

' _ I'm here. Where are you? _ '

He looked around, but he couldn't see Seto. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and stepped inside the restaurant - he had probably taken a table already. It was a quaint, homely little place. It was certainly not fine dining, but it wasn't a greasy spoon, either. A server walked past him and he stopped her to ask for Seto. After a second's pause, Katsuya was led to him.

Seto was looking at the menu, like the rest of the world around him no longer mattered. When Katsuya got closer, cold blue eyes looked him up and down. As soon as Seto recognised him, his eyes widened a touch and he put down his menu. There was something in his eyes that Katsuya couldn't make out. After years apart, the man had become unreadable to him once more. It didn't matter, he didn't need to know Seto anymore.

"I told you I was here," Seto said.

"Yeah, I was outside waiting for you," Katsuya said as he sat down in front of Seto.

Katsuya had been to this place countless times with colleagues: the service was quick and polite, and the food was tasty and filling. He had grown fond of this place. He didn't feel hungry enough to eat, but maybe he could get something light like a portion of fries. He looked at the menu absentmindedly.

"Why did you ask me here?" Seto asked.

Katsuya swallowed hard.  _ I don't know _ was not a good enough answer to that question. Katsuya made a big show of looking at the menu, all but refusing to look at Seto. It gave him a couple of seconds to think of an answer. No amount of college could make Katsuya smart. He looked over his menu.

"Why did you message me?" Katsuya asked.

Seto asked himself the same question, and he came up with the same answer as Katsuya:  _ I don't know _ . That wasn't an answer. Seto bit the inside of his cheek as he struggled with words. He never struggled with anyone else, but even after so long, there was something about Katsuya that left him wordless and tongue tied.

"We didn't get much of a chance to talk that day," he said. "I suppose I wanted closure."

Closure was _ a _ word for it, inaccurate as it may be. Katsuya blinked. For a second, Seto saw hurt in Katsuya's face, but the hurt was immediately switched for relief. Katsuya laughed, leaving Seto confused.

"You don't know how glad I am to hear that," he said.

"Glad?" Seto echoed.

"Yeah. We were messy together, you know that," Katsuya said, waving his hand dismissively. "Oil and water. We weren't meant to be together."

Seto's breath was forced from his lungs like someone had punched him in the stomach. His heart had been pinched until it was near bursting. Yet Seto remained unreadable, bar the raise of his eyebrows. He drew a breath to steady himself before turning to steel once again. If that was how Katsuya wanted to be, then fine. Seto knew where he stood.

"I didn't expect that from you," Seto said, "considering you begged me to give you a chance."

Katsuya's jaw dropped, and his face flushed in anger. He snapped his mouth shut, clenching his jaw tight.

"That was years ago. Drop it."

If Seto knew how to drop things, he wouldn't have been sitting in a restaurant with Katsuya. He wouldn't have kept chasing, even after all this time. Seto scoffed, shaking his head. Ten year old regrets swam in his mind. He shouldn't have kissed Katsuya. He shouldn't have dated him.

"I see."

Katsuya sighed harshly. "I don't wanna talk about what we were, Kaiba."

Kaiba. His name was blunt coming out of his mouth. Seto bristled.

"Then what do you want to talk about? Why did you ask me here if not-"

"I'm seeing someone."

The three words dropped between them like a heavy weight, its landing harsh and loud. Seto stared at Katsuya, left wordless all over again. It felt like someone had stuck a knife in his spine and broke the blade in it, and Seto finally understood why. No matter how long it had been or how long it would be, he loved Katsuya. That would never change. His hurt rotted quickly to bitterness.

"It's that blonde woman you keep tagging on social media. Isn't it."

The sentence came out like acid, tiny spittle landing on Katsuya's skin. He flinched.

"Yeah? So what? Why is this such a big deal?"

"It isn't," Seto conceded.

"Fine, then why do you care?"

He cared because he  _ cared _ . Seto realised his words would have been pointless now; Katsuya's heart was elsewhere. Seto stood and shrugged on his jacket.

"I have to go. I've left Mokuba in charge," Seto said.

"I've never known you to be a coward."

Seto sneered. "You don't know me at all."

***

Katsuya spent too many days afterwards fixated on that lunch. Since when did Seto care so much about Katsuya's love life? He didn't have a reason to be so hurt. Katsuya didn't throw a fit when he saw Seto's face on a magazine with another woman. Seeing Seto - either in person or on a screen - always felt like someone was squeezing his intestines. It hurt, but he didn't get angry. Why would he? Katsuya recognised that, by now, what they had was over. What they had was a train wreck.

Yet a part of Katsuya wanted to be part of the wreckage one more time. The only reason he hadn't thrown himself back in was because of Mai.

Mai was amazing. She was a gambler, and she had one hell of a poker face on her. Getting past her defences was almost impossible, but Katsuya was used to fake facades. He knew that he could get to her heart like he had done with Seto, though it felt wrong comparing them.

Anzu and Hiroto thought Mai was a bit of a gold digger. Katsuya didn't think she was, but in her defence, who didn't enjoy the finer things in life? She was a little high maintenance, but Katsuya wrote that off as a trait all women had. It didn't bother him.

Katsuya realised he had a type: strong, independent people who liked money. It was a thought he didn't relish.

Seto was driving himself mad. He didn't know how he could drop someone like Katsuya; he was everything to Seto once upon a time. It was likely that all he loved was the idea of Katsuya, but he didn't care. He wouldn't get a chance to explore his feelings with him regardless.

Katsuya's social media hadn't updated since the last time they spoke. Either he had been busy, or he had abandoned the account. Seto was tempted to leave another message, but decided against it. He closed the tab and got back to his emails, but his browser stared at him defiantly. He tried ignoring it, but against his better judgement, he hit control, shift and T and the tab reopened.

He didn't look at it, but it sat there, abandoned like an appliance on a front lawn for a week. By the time he looked at it again, he had been blocked by Katsuya. He leaned back in his chair, frowning. So this was how it would end, with a quiet block. He sighed, about to close the tab, when a notification popped up.

_ You have been invited to an event: High School Reunion Class of 20XX _

He almost immediately clicked not going, but he checked his calendar. He was free on that day, and as much as he hated social situations, this could have been a good opportunity. He'd heard a fellow classmate was a game designer, and they could have struck a deal. Seto wouldn't know until he tried. Plus, it was an opportunity to brag about his own accomplishments.

He hovered his mouse over the  _ yes _ and, after a brief pause, he clicked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Oh man they'll fall in love and--  
> KaiJou: i'm about to end this whole man's career.jpg
> 
> I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED I'M SORRY also I'm going on holiday today so no new updates for a little while. Saying that, fun fact: a bunch of Something Like Happiness was written on a plane lol!
> 
> Bug me on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids)


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